I love a good romantic comedy. It’s the perfect genre because it has the lowest bar to pass. The writers don’t need to create a complex story with rich characters, the actors get to have fun, and the audience can sit back and enjoy.

That said, sometimes a movie like Happiest Season (also on Hulu) releases and switches up the paradigm by putting in the work to not only create a fantastic story with complex characters that gives its cast more of something to chew on, but these are few and far between. How few and far between? Well, since starting Austin B Media, the only films that meet this criterion (that I’ve seen) are Happiest Season (released in 2020), Language Lessons (released in 2021), Together Together (released in 2021), Marry Me (which was released on February 11th of this year), and 7 Days (released this April). Before starting Austin B Media, the only other films that I’ve seen that meet this criterion are Always Be My Maybe (released in 2019), Long Shot (also released in 2019), Destination Wedding (released in 2018), Happy Anniversary (also released in 2018), The Big Sick (released in 2017), Bridesmaids (released in 2011), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (released in 2008), and, well, you get it. Audiences who require a bit more from their romantic comedies get maybe only a few chances a year to experience something new.

So, how does this relate to the latest Hulu Original Film, The Valet? Well, it’s kind of complicated. There’s an apparent attempt to create a new type of paradigm-shifting romantic comedy that is too familiar to anyone who’s watched the Apple TV+ Original Series Acapulco and Marry Me to be anything other than a cheap imitation.

I’m trying to fight my recency bias here, but Eugenio Derbez has two projects that portray a secret he has to keep from his family within a year, and I can’t ignore that. Not only does Derbez have to keep a secret, but he also has a friend who’s constantly eating named Benny (Amaury Nolasco), not unlike Memo in Acapulco, as well as a widowed mother who has a relationship with a person who helps her fix things around the apartment.

On the same note, the film borrows much of its plot from Marry Me. Stop me if you’ve heard this before: an average citizen is hired by a celebrity in the wake of an affair made public knowledge. Sound familiar? Yeah, that’s both the plot for Marry Me and The Valet.

The only difference between the two is that the average citizen is a math teacher in Marry Me versus a valet in The Valet, Marry Me’s celebrity is a famous singer (not unlike Jennifer Lopez herself), versus The Valet’s celebrity is an actress named Olivia Allan (also not unlike Samara Weaving herself), and how the average citizen is hired. That’s about it. The rest of the film takes the structure of Marry Me and places itself in this movie’s skeleton.

Okay, but is The Valet good? At points, the script by Bob Fisher & Rob Greenberg (adapted from Francis Veber’s 2006 screenplay, also named The Valet, which this is a pseudo-remake of) shines in its portrayal of Antonio’s struggle between being invisible and the spotlight, the relationship between Stegman (John Pirruccello) & Kapoor (Ravi Patel), has some chuckle-inducing jokes, but failed to make me care for Olivia, and just about every member of the cast. The Royces (Max Greenfield & Betsy Brandt, respectively) are written like cartoon characters, with no complexity or even things to laugh about.

I usually love Eugenio Derbez, Samara Weaving, Marisol Nichols, Ravi Patel, and John Pirrucello, but not even the acting can save this movie. There’s just no life to this movie, and not even the hammy performance by Max Greenfield mustered enough goodwill for me to even recommend this film to fans of his performance in New Girl. Instead, it’s all a mess.

Some of this could come down to the direction of Richard Wong, but I don’t want to hypothesize. There’s no life to the film. At about the one-hour mark, I was ready to write my review but realized there were still fifty-seven minutes left. So, I started to feel every minute of the remaining runtime, which isn’t optimal in the streaming era.

Furthermore, the score by Heitor Pereira is awful. This could be because Pereira composed the score during post-production, which isn’t all that uncommon in the movie industry, but all the music sounds like temporary music lifted from YouTube audio library. The score does nothing to supplement the narrative or even provide viewers with something to listen to after the movie is over.

I wish I loved The Valet, as I love the concept and cast, but it wasn’t meant to be. Hopefully, Billy Eichner's vehicle Bros or Hulu’s Fire Island is the paradigm-shifting romcom I’ve been looking for after Marry Me. If not, there’s next year’s Barbie.

★★

The Valet is now streaming on Hulu in the US and Star+ internationally.

Until next time!

Thanks to Thomas Stoneham-Judge from Movies For Reel, Shane Conto, Joseph Davis, David Walters, Ambula Bula, and Matthew Simpson for supporting Austin B Media on Patreon!